Congratulations to James Brubaker, winner of our “Why I love or Hate AC/DC” contest. James will receive a signed copy of Joe Bonomo’s 33 1/3 Highway to Hell and eternal glory. Here is his winning piece:
I hate AC/DC because of my cousin. And because of weddings. And probably because of karaoke, and Atom and His Package, but mostly because of my cousin. And his wedding. My Cousin Steve got married when I was thirteen. This was before the internet, when it was easier for a 13 year old guy to be repressed-as-fuck. I mean, let’s face it, it’s not like I could watch thousands of minutes of porn a year like kids do today. I was easily shocked. So, anyway, my cousin got married. He was kind of a nerd, but in a frat boy kind of way. At his high school graduation party I watched him and his friends play this game where one of them would lean up against a tree, ass in the air, while the other participants kicked a soccer ball at him. I think the game was called asshole, a variation on horse, where if you missed, you got a letter, and you lost if you were the first person to spell asshole. Anyway, my cousin got married to a woman who was way nicer, and nerdier than him. Not that I dislike my cousin, but, you know. So, when I’m 13, and my cousin is in his 20’s, he gets married. This was the first big wedding I’d been to. The wedding itself was long and boring, but the reception was okay. It was kind of bland, too, but the food was good and the DJ played some good songs. Everything was peachy until it was time for Steve to throw the garter. As the ritual began, the DJ started playing some old torch song, Sinatra or something. I was too young to know or care. My cousin eased his new wife into a chair, and then as soon as his knee hit the floor, the DJ pulled the old switch-a-roo, busted out “You Shook Me All Night Long.” Instead of reaching up his wife’s dress, my cousin stuck his whole head up there, removed the garter with his teeth. That was fucked, man. Have you ever seen your cousin stick his head up his wife’s dress and remove her garter with his teeth? That shit stays with you. Until then, I really loved AC/DC. Now when I hear them, “You Shook Me…” specifically, I remember the shock of that moment. So fuck AC/DC. And fuck my cousin, Steve.